Mental Abuse, PTSD, Sexual Abuse, Speaking from Experience, Stigma/Taboo

Think before you speak!


Welcome back blog readers,

Think before you speak, comment, or tweet is the lesson for today.

For those of you that have been fortunate enough not to have endured sexual abuse, we don’t ever “just get over it” nor was it our outfits that made us targets. I want to clear the air and make that point up front.

I know not all of you think that way, but I still see many people assume/comment that we (as victims) must have done something to warrant being sexually abused/sexually harassed/sexually assaulted. If you are one of those people (that think we deserved it), then I hope to open your closed mind on this topic.

Let me ask you a question, Did you wake up this morning and think to yourself that you want someone to force themselves on you, or expect to be in a situation that you had no control over your own body while some filthy person took advantage of your vulnerable state? …. Neither did we. Did you wake up this morning and think that today would be a great day to be held at gunpoint/knifepoint, blackmailed, raped, threatened to be killed/have your family killed if you tell anyone of the vile act that just took place?… Neither did we.

Maybe the abuser was our father, our brother, our cousin, our neighbor, our boss, our priest because in most cases the abuser is a family member or someone we know. Not all sexual abuse/assaults happen at the local bar. So think about what you’re saying before it leaves your mouth. Many that are abused were kids so your assumptions about us asking for it, or the reason being our clothes is ridiculous and makes you a close-minded asshole just so you know.

For what it’s worth, not all abusers are male. Sexual abusers do not discriminate against gender, race, religion, age, education or anything else. Just as all those who have been abused are not all female. One in six boys/men are also victims of sexual abuse, most never come forward about it.

While I’m on a roll…

While you are entitled to your opinion remember that you are under no obligation to share it, especially if you have ZERO knowledge/experience to back it up. Opinions are like assholes in the sense that everyone has one.

When you’re talking/commenting/tweeting to adoptees and suggest (I use that term loosely) that they should be grateful that they were adopted, just stop right there!

Do you have any idea just how insensitive that comment is?

That comment is saying that the adoptee should be grateful they were taken away from their parents and taken out of their home. Grateful they were separated from their siblings and other family members. They should be grateful they don’t know their real name at birth and they should be grateful that they will have a hard time reconnecting with their bio family once they reach legal age. They should be grateful to have been placed in an orphanage/foster home(s) and rehomed several times before their 7th birthday. Let’s not forget that they should be grateful for the trauma they are going to endure mentally because most adoptees don’t come through unscathed, or grateful for the physical/emotional abuse because not all adopted families are as clean cut as the Brady Bunch.  In fact, many adoptive parents like to constantly remind the child that they owe their lives to them for “saving” them.

Before you sling more insults at people you know nothing about, why don’t you be grateful that you didn’t have to endure sexual abuse and keep it a secret. Be grateful that you have a relationship with your parents because you weren’t forced to leave your mother against your will. Be grateful that you don’t have to deal with PTSD or never had to wonder why you don’t look like your “parents”.

If you can’t say anything nice and you’re not willing to open your mind and show compassion then keep your opinions to yourself.




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