Category: Abuse comes in many forms
I Did As I Was Told, by Willa Addie Evans
This story contains many encounters of physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual assault. Some readers may be triggered by the real-life events that the author shares.
I was immediately hooked last night when I started reading this very heartbreaking story. It took real courage to come forward and share a story such as this one. Addie, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
No child should ever be used as a human punching bag, not ever.
No child should ever be pimped out to random strangers.
5-Star Worthy. For now, it’s a solid 4-Star.
I’m looking forward to the second book in the series.
*** I have contacted the author to let her know my concerns. I’ve decided to share this only to my blog for now. It wouldn’t be fair to leave a 4-Star rating on Amazon or GoodReads at this point. The story is good, it held my attention, I was able to connect on an emotional level. This book has potential, it should be revised. Just my thoughts and opinions. ***
Soul Cry by Dana Arcuri
The author is an advocate for survivors of abuse and she shares her knowledge and experience not only in her book, but within the Twitterverse as well. Survivors that have healed and recovered enough to become advocates and make it their mission to raise awareness is truly inspiring.
Soul Cry discusses topics about various forms of abuse, trauma and content that may be triggering for some readers.
Dana is candid about being bullied. While it’s common to experience sibling rivalry and have disagreements, the bullying that Dana endured was intentionally malicious, uncalled for, and sadly ignored.
As a child, we look to our parents and caregivers for protection, to learn how to set healthy boundaries, and to know what is acceptable behavior. When the single parent is emotionally unavailable, the teenage babysitter is cruel and abusive and the older siblings gang up on you and feed into the torture, it’s no wonder that little Dana suffered through chronic pain and CPTSD.
Unfortunately, the effects of CPTSD linger and follow you through the rest of your life in the form of trust issues, insecurity, poor decision making, and you are often targeted for being manipulated. I’m not suggesting that the author feels this way; it’s my observation from talking with other survivors.
Dana does a great job of sharing her story. The reader will gain insight as to how the effects of trauma linger well after the event has passed. I can relate to various aspects of her experience and the frustration of your family not believing you and not stepping in to protect you. Sadly, that happens all too often. For many survivors of trauma, we tend to carry the burden alone, we don’t have the support we need, nor are we removed from the situation.
The author also shares her experience with multiple prescriptions that she was issued and how those taken together caused more unnecessary pain and suffering. The medical professionals don’t always get it right. Don’t be afraid to get a second, third, or fourth opinion.
My only critique: The author repeats herself multiple times which disrupted the flow. That is the reason for the 4-star rating. If I could leave 4.5 I would have.
Kindle Giveaway Promotion, July 1-5, 2020
If you’re a reader that enjoys #nonfiction #memoir, Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: My Journey from Victim to Survivor offers a unique perspective on how #childhood #trauama and #family #dysfunction follows a child into adulthood.
The history of abuse in my family didn’t start with me; I made sure that it ends with me. No child should ever have to experience such heartbreak and trauma.
Choose to be part of the solution
In this blog post, I would like to share my thoughts and opinions about something I read yesterday.
While on Facebook I came across a post on one of the (women entrepreneur) groups that I am a member of. Due to the controversial issue, the post was taken down just before I was able to leave a comment. Good on the admins/moderators for taking it down as it had nothing to do with the group; it was a means of getting people fired up and turning on each other.
The article was titled, “#notmetoo” and written by a female that shared her thoughts about the #metoo movement and how it has gone from raising awareness to being used to exploit people. I don’t have an issue with this opinion, as I tend to agree.
I feel that many people don’t really understand what the #metoo movement is all about, nor do they care enough to research the topic. The #metoo movement is about raising awareness, showing just how many people (not just women) that have endured sexual harassment and/or sexual assault. The movement created a platform for many of us (myself included) to know that we are not alone and to show our support to those that choose to come forward.
Is anyone forced into coming forward? No.
You don’t have to out yourself, nor do you have to share your experience.
There is no action for you to take unless you want to.
The author of the article thought that most women have experienced being sexually harassed, what’s the point of saying anything? It was her experience that when it happened to her at work, she said NO and she didn’t have to take any action. The word No was enough, so she didn’t feel like the #metoo movement applies to her.
The author mentioned that if women were stronger, more assertive and weren’t so scared, that they wouldn’t need the #metoo movement and encourages others like her to start a #notmetoo movement.
Here’s the problem I have with that logic. Speaking from my own experience, I was a child, my NO didn’t solve the problem. During my first job out of high school, my No didn’t solve the problem. Some victims are drugged, date raped, overpowered, ganged up on, restrained. Our No, assuming we could get it out was not respected.
Good for her and good for the rest of you that have never had a sexual act of violence forced upon you. Good for you that your No was respected. While you feel that the #metoo movement doesn’t apply to you, you don’t get to diminish the meaning behind it. By doing so, you are basically saying boo-hoo, suck it up, we all get harassed, deal with it.
Trust me, I have been dealing with it, dealing with it for 30+ years because there is no magic cure. I will never be 100%, none of us will ever fully recover. During times of extreme stress or fear, we all react differently. We either Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn. How nice it must be to know how you would react to an act of sexual violence when you haven’t experienced it. Those of us that tend to Freeze or Fawn should not be mistaken for as weak.
Tell me, for those strong, assertive types, if you witness another person being sexually harassed/assaulted, would you help or would you look the other way thinking, suck it up!
The idea of starting a #notmetoo movement is absurd and hurts the rest of us that are trying to recover, looking for support, finally having the courage to speak up. Speaking up IS part of our recovery, so don’t joke about it, make light of the subject or diminish the significance.
The notion of a #notmeetoo movement is as ridiculous as straight people wanting their own “pride” parade. Be glad you don’t need one because your rights and mental health aren’t in danger. You are not the ones being silenced, or not believed when you finally do come forward.
In my opinion, those that are for the #notmetoo movement are part of the problem. Choose to be better, choose to be part of the solution. What do you have to lose?
Sexual harassment is not tolerated in the workplace and Sexual Assault is a CRIME, both of which are never okay.