Welcome back blog readers,
Today’s discussion is about identifying and dealing with a negative person. We’ve all dealt with a negative person at some point; maybe it’s a loved one, a co-worker, a customer/client, or a friend.
Negative people are easy to identify because they are often chronic complainers, they are never happy, rarely have anything nice to say. No matter how much you go out of your way to please them, it’s never good enough. More often than not, you are left feeling emotionally drained after your interaction with them.
You may recognize that the behavior of the negative person is not normal, it’s not healthy. Everyone around the negative person sees the same thing. The negative person fails to see that their behavior and attitude are a problem. The negative person doesn’t recognize that they need help, even though their words/actions are often a cry for help. How can you help a person that doesn’t acknowledge that they are the problem, or avoids seeking help? Easy, you can’t. The vicious cycle continues and nothing ever changes.
When they do come to you for advice or seek your opinion, it’s not what they want to hear and in most cases, they shoot down any options and suggestions that you provide. Seeking advice from a negative person will only backfire. Any positive news you do share will more than likely result in the negative person to rain on your parade. It’s not that they aren’t happy for you, they see what could go wrong and what might backfire. They prepare themselves for the worst-case scenario to avoid being disappointed.
I raise the question, “Why are some people so negative all of the time?” Research suggests that a negative mindset is acquired during childhood. Perhaps the parents were negative or made the child feel insecure. The parents primarily focused on failures and faults. The child learns to see only the mistakes, faults, and failures. The child was rarely praised, or there was a lack of affection or any accomplishments weren’t acknowledged or celebrated which takes a toll on a child’s confidence and view of the world.
A negative person ultimately craves Love, Respect, and Control. For those closest to them, it’s a difficult position to be in. Love and Respect are earned and most of us don’t want to be manipulated or enjoy being guilt-tripped into doing something. Since the negative person won’t change who they are, you have to change your reaction to them.
The above statements are merely my opinion. I am not a professionally trained or certified mental health professional. With that said, below are links to articles related to Negative People, their traits and behaviors, and how to deal with them or recognize that maybe it’s you.