Death/End of Life, Need to prepare, Support Group, What to consider

Planning for the end of Life

Time passing concept

Welcome back blog readers,

I realize that I have not been as active writing or spending as much time on social media this last week. That’s mainly due to feeling under the weather and also trying to make an effort of not getting sucked into all of the negative drama that is posted on social media.

While I’m still not feeling 100%, I am inspired to write about a topic that is affecting my family, some members more so than others due to the varying stages of grief that are associated with death.

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

These stages are all part of the grieving process for both the person that has received the news about their health and for the surviving family members. A person may go through these stages in a different order, they may also revisit a stage. There isn’t a timeframe as each person will grieve differently and in their own time, to which is perfectly normal.

To better explain these stages.

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

While we all start our life in the same way, one egg one sperm, our end of life varies. For the most part, we either have a bit of a warning that our loved one has limited time left or things happen so quickly that there isn’t time to prepare, just immediate shock, and devastation.

The topic of Death still seems to be taboo, and many people still find it very uncomfortable to talk about. Death is a natural part of Life, and at some point, we all will mourn the loss of a loved one, just as our loved ones will mourn over the loss of us. Not talking about death won’t make it go away or make your grieving phase any easier. Knowing what to expect can make the process easier to go through because there is nothing to fear.

We tend to seek out information and books about what to expect when we are creating life, but we don’t put that same effort in when it comes time to dealing with the end of life. Medically, there are many resources that share information to help us make sense of the process from a scientific point of view. I suspect that religion and our beliefs in spirituality are what make the end of life process difficult to come to terms with. Nobody really knows. It’s mostly speculation and theories when talking about our soul/energy and what becomes of that after it leaves our body.

Medically/Scientifically, here is what happens to the human body:

Read about it here- https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-happens-to-my-body-right-after-i-die-1132498

Watch a short informative video here- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUsdWOCPIQQ&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3FGEmuAAXmZhEphv62AgXfLjyw2RWTnQX2aisWarmgpHtIt1Vx3JS3gNM

With spirituality and religion aside, it is important to talk with our loved ones about what kind of arrangements they want done after their death. Just as you should be voicing your concerns about you want done with your body. Often times the most difficult decision a family makes is coming to a decision about funeral arrangements, cremation, donating to science, or eco-friendly biodegradable options and where the money is to pay for these last expenses.

Having a Living Will or a Living Trust in place before your death will ease the burden on your family. Click here to learn more- https://www.thebalance.com/living-will-vs-living-trust-3505198

Most people have no idea about the costs associated with death are. In many cases, the costs are left up to the family to sort out at the last minute, and it puts a strain on their personal finances. The average funeral costs $7,200. That includes a viewing and burial, embalming, hearse, transfer of remains, service fee and more. It doesn’t, however, include the cost of, say, a catered luncheon with drinks after the memorial service or the copy of the death certificate.

If you are inclined to shop around, you might find this link helpful. https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0301-funeral-costs-and-pricing-checklist

Interested in the cost of Cremation? Check out your options here- https://www.neptunesociety.com/resources/what-does-cremation-cost

Once you’ve decided on what you want to be done, you may want to consider either setting the money aside for those expenses or making sure that you have a life insurance policy that will cover the cost plus a little extra to account for inflation. Many life insurance policies don’t cover a quarter of the funeral/burial expenses, something many families are left scrambling to make up with the difference.

My point is this, While many of us prepare for the new life that we are expecting (baby showers), we should also take the time to plan for our end of life. What your surviving family members want is closure after we’re gone, not a burden of debt due to a lack of planning. With life there is death, while it’s not fun to talk about, we should take time to consider what our final wishes are and who we entrust to make that happen on our behalf.

 

 

 

 

 

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#MenToo, #MeToo, Abuse comes in many forms, Domestic Abuse, Financial Abuse, Mental Abuse, PTSD, Sexual Abuse, Speaking from Experience, Stigma/Taboo, Support Group, Victims of sexual abuse/sexual assualt

Strength in Numbers~ Peer Support

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Welcome back blog readers,

Yesterday I created a new group on facebook, Strength in Numbers~ Peer Support. Over the last week I’ve been exchanging comments with other victims/survivors of abuse and I realized that maybe we need a platform to continue talking, rather than blowing up another account user’s personal page.

Anyone (male/female) that has endured sexual abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse or has been manipulated by a narcissist is welcome to join. The group is set to Closed Group, which means that the group name can be searched, but the discussion and the members can only be seen by other members.

I remember how I felt during the last year of my first marriage, I had been isolated from any friends/family thanks to my narcissistic husband. He would hover over my shoulder anytime he thought I was chatting with someone, he went through my emails and chat logs to make sure I wasn’t speaking ill of him, or cheating (which I was often accused of, but never did). He had full control over the finances and could spend as much as he wanted while I received $20/week after depositing my paycheck (worked full time).

Long story short, I remember feeling very helpless because I didn’t have anyone to turn to for help, nobody to talk to, the only people around was his immediate family. While they loved me, they turned a blind eye and didn’t want to get involved in our marriage even though they could see how miserable he was making my life.

So yeah, I understand that those of us in this situation need a place to vent, need someone to just listen and reassure us that we are not the crazy one in the relationship, because we are often made to feel that we are (if you’re with a narcissist). I recognize that not all of us can leave the house, not all of us have the funds to pay for professional help, not all of us have a support group within walking distance. The Strength in Numbers~ Peer Support page is my solution for that.

The Strength in Numbers~ Peer Support page offers a list of resources so that our members can seek assistance, talk to professionals, make a plan to leave their home if they feel unsafe and find legal help or a shelter in their area.

I encourage our members to share their written work, poetry, books they’ve written on this matter, share books that have helped them heal, drawings, paintings, links to their blog. Writing for me has proven to be therapeutic and I suspect this may be true for other members. Strength in Numbers~ Peer Support is a platform that promotes healing and offers a safe place for victims/survivors of abuse to support and encourage each other.

There are no fees to join, you don’t have to participate unless you are comfortable enough to share. You can sit back and learn from the experiences of other members or if you want to private message me, that is also an option. Please keep in mind that I’m not logged in 24/7 and I work part-time, but I will reply as soon as I am available to give you my undivided attention.

You are not alone! You deserve better!

I’m happy to listen and help if I can.~ Hannah